One Of Many Crossroads-If The Time Be Right

Oh, be still my heart-I know what you desire,
the ever fleeting hope that you can finally share,
your wishes could speak volumes,
but breathe one day at a time.

One word, one sentence, one day, one step,
is all that stands between my burden being lifted,
oh sweet sorrow how you betray me,
but stir me enough to make a change.

The confirmation pursued is nearing its inception,
years of thought honestly and openly revealed in a moment,
like a virgin in the first consummation of marriage,
blatant, bold, and bare.

Preparing for defeat but hoping for victory,
fearing his heart reserved for none than only one other,
if victorious-will that make me second best,
because my supposed one let his be the one that got away.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Just Thinking It Through

It has been a while since you were in my dreams,
I was actually glad that you were back-even if only for a night,
I miss you telling me I am beautiful-thank you,
those words always meant the world to me.

I am still thinking it through,
I am still trying to figure out a way I can talk with you,
that perfect moment-the one where I can come completely clean,
and tell you from my heart that I am deeply sorry.

It took me a while before I could very clearly see,
I was such a terrible person to you-something you did not deserve,
so much was going on in my life and I unfairly took it out on you,
you were always so understanding with me-I truly am so sorry.

Do you think I am crazy for wanting to say how sorry I am,
or is it something that you actually would want to hear,
is it too late-not possible-for me to prove my change,
or do you want it too-me and you-like it once had been?






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Second Chance

You're the one I think about when I feel alone sometimes,
and you are the one that I seem to dream about each and every night,
and every other dream that I can remember,
is me telling myself that I was being too dramatic-I could have done it better.

So here is my heart hurting because I want to pick up the pieces,
I want to fix this and tell you how sorry I really am,
I hope that you would give me that second chance,
because you were the one who made me first believe in them.

You are my familiar ground,
the one my dreams run back to when I need comfort,
the one they run back to when I need to feel loved,
and the one my dreams are confirming that I have wronged.

I just want to try again,
how that would happen-I don't know,
if it did-I know I would be so much better,
and that I would never let you slip out of my life again.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Last Five Pages-The Rewrite

I dance this delicate ballet,
a unique one that none other will,
some will join me in this dance,
only one I wish I was with still.

I look through the scrapbook of my life,
just plain words written on brown bag type paper,
what I would do if I could rewrite these last few,
maybe I cannot rewrite the past-but could we start something new?

I would be your love-not your mother,
I would encourage you-instead of keeping you smothered,
we would live life like we were in our prime,
and only act on things in their due time.

I know my words might never heal the wound in your heart,
the damage might be too much for love to spark,
but my words and tears are the only things I have left,
I am so sorry that I did not love you like I once promised to.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

As Love Flows Through Me

I wake up from my dreams of you,
I pause as reality hits me,
we are not together,
and I so wish that we were.

Thinking about the days that the sun hit my face,
no clouds blocked my view except my own,
you tried so hard to understand me,
I just could not breathe so I stole my breath from you.

Here I stand all alone in the world I created for myself,
I feel there is nothing I can say or do to let you know,
I am unsure at where to rest my next step,
all I want is for it to lead me to you.

If I must run for miles across the terrain so vast,
I will run all the way for you,
If I must die with this stinging pain in my heart,
at least my dying thought will be of you.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Whispers Of Strength

Simple solitude escapes me now,
a time when I can just be at peace,
not worrying about what all problems I have to face,
nor the people to whom I wish to please.

I stand in the face of a decision,
I am not afraid to make it,
for I stick to what I believe is right,
and I am not afraid to apologize if my logic is wrong.

I refuse to sit back with idle hands,
I will work until this task is complete,
not one person nor any army of their friends,
will tear me down-this wall is built strong.

I have to keep saying the little motto in my head,
smooth sailing does not make skillful sailors,
so I will know that I am suffering for a reason,
and it will only be a season-until this problem is gone.





Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

I Am Such A Girl

Many ice cream bowls and romance movies later,
I find the answer to the question in my mind,
is it wrong to hurt after seeing your crush with another,
my answer-absolutely not.

Though I be not attached to said crush,
it hurts when a wish is not granted,
all to easy for me to work through these said hurts,
I have known many before.

Being a woman means dealing with stupid and endless introspection,
why not me-why not anyone-why not now,
when will it be-who will it be,
and what is taking so long?

So here I go again on my own,
keeping a smiling face and my sad emotions seemingly long gone,
seems like twenty years it will be,
until I meet a decent guy that is interested in me.





Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.