The Distance Between

Crying to wash away the sting of loneliness,

trying every trick to divert the mind,

many items serve as reminders,

of those who care.

Calculating the hours and minutes,

of driving distance between,

a place of emptiness,

and a place of love.

 

Love felt even through silence,

 love to forgive and forget,

love to give and expect nothing,

love from people who care.

 

In this nothing I do dwell,

put on a smile and say all is well,

almost believing the lie I tell,

when thinking about the distance between.





Copyright 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Light From The Lighthouse

May there be light in the lighthouse,
when the seas grow hard to sail,
do not wish for smooth waters,
wish that your skills prevail.

Keep going and stay strong,
you will reach home before long,
the waves will test and make you weary,
but know the clouds will soon be clearing.

Become deaf to the Sirens call,
the tempting lure to waiver your sail,
let the charts and the stars guide you,
for they only wish to fare you well.

The end of the journey and the comfort of home,
safe in love to hold to,
assured that the waves did not overtake you,
but ready to sail anew as called.




Copyright 2012. All Rights Reserved.

I Believe

I am here even if I do not say anything,
I silently want your well-being,
they would deem it odd to be so crazy,
if I were to shout it aloud.

Someone once told me to reach for the stars,
I am-reaching for you,
I see someone better than maybe you see yourself,
and yet you are so different.

Faux pas and pleasantries aside,
who are we left with,
would we then be equals,
that to decide comes in time.

You seem to feel and write the same things I have,
writing the words only those close would know,
always about wanting and mourning love,
only if I had the chance.




Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Lay It Down

I am not one for drama-I leave it where it lies,
I do not look back when I say goodbye,
I do not know what to say-so I will say nothing at all,
a different angle just might shed light.

I respond in like manner to what is shown to me,
crying victim when you were the one causing the pain,
I am still who I have always been,
you were the one who changed.

You lend yourself to a short end,
you rely on secondary sources and call them truth,
take it from the primary,
the miscommunication lies with you.

Now you feel and say the same things I have,
and hide behind your written ranting,
you turn from the one who was worth the fight,
and so I leave you an uncrossable divide.






Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Patience Through Suffering

Funny how things change,
tables turn and solid ground shakes,
know that growth hides in the broken,
and comes patience through suffering.

I have moved on - it is over,
there is nothing left to say,
I am neutral - I am happy,
and so you will be someday.

Spinning out of a life crisis,
take some time to reflect,
allow yourself to properly heal,
you owe yourself and the next that respect.

Look ahead and what do you see,
God gives the desires of the heart,
you have the tools to do as your please,
there builds no character in calm seas.






Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Like A Poison

Love is like a poison,
never can get enough,
the heart is an addict,
needing even more to fill it up.

So here I am searching,
for the fix that will let me be,
keep my nerves from screaming,
calm the perilous sea.

Then come the ones who hurt me,
target me from every angle,
hit me with their best shot,
but I have always come through.

Here I move on,
not as easy as it seems,
I take a step into the wild frontier,
until my next poison appears.






Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

One Of Many Crossroads-If The Time Be Right

Oh, be still my heart-I know what you desire,
the ever fleeting hope that you can finally share,
your wishes could speak volumes,
but breathe one day at a time.

One word, one sentence, one day, one step,
is all that stands between my burden being lifted,
oh sweet sorrow how you betray me,
but stir me enough to make a change.

The confirmation pursued is nearing its inception,
years of thought honestly and openly revealed in a moment,
like a virgin in the first consummation of marriage,
blatant, bold, and bare.

Preparing for defeat but hoping for victory,
fearing his heart reserved for none than only one other,
if victorious-will that make me second best,
because my supposed one let his be the one that got away.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Just Thinking It Through

It has been a while since you were in my dreams,
I was actually glad that you were back-even if only for a night,
I miss you telling me I am beautiful-thank you,
those words always meant the world to me.

I am still thinking it through,
I am still trying to figure out a way I can talk with you,
that perfect moment-the one where I can come completely clean,
and tell you from my heart that I am deeply sorry.

It took me a while before I could very clearly see,
I was such a terrible person to you-something you did not deserve,
so much was going on in my life and I unfairly took it out on you,
you were always so understanding with me-I truly am so sorry.

Do you think I am crazy for wanting to say how sorry I am,
or is it something that you actually would want to hear,
is it too late-not possible-for me to prove my change,
or do you want it too-me and you-like it once had been?






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Second Chance

You're the one I think about when I feel alone sometimes,
and you are the one that I seem to dream about each and every night,
and every other dream that I can remember,
is me telling myself that I was being too dramatic-I could have done it better.

So here is my heart hurting because I want to pick up the pieces,
I want to fix this and tell you how sorry I really am,
I hope that you would give me that second chance,
because you were the one who made me first believe in them.

You are my familiar ground,
the one my dreams run back to when I need comfort,
the one they run back to when I need to feel loved,
and the one my dreams are confirming that I have wronged.

I just want to try again,
how that would happen-I don't know,
if it did-I know I would be so much better,
and that I would never let you slip out of my life again.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Last Five Pages-The Rewrite

I dance this delicate ballet,
a unique one that none other will,
some will join me in this dance,
only one I wish I was with still.

I look through the scrapbook of my life,
just plain words written on brown bag type paper,
what I would do if I could rewrite these last few,
maybe I cannot rewrite the past-but could we start something new?

I would be your love-not your mother,
I would encourage you-instead of keeping you smothered,
we would live life like we were in our prime,
and only act on things in their due time.

I know my words might never heal the wound in your heart,
the damage might be too much for love to spark,
but my words and tears are the only things I have left,
I am so sorry that I did not love you like I once promised to.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

As Love Flows Through Me

I wake up from my dreams of you,
I pause as reality hits me,
we are not together,
and I so wish that we were.

Thinking about the days that the sun hit my face,
no clouds blocked my view except my own,
you tried so hard to understand me,
I just could not breathe so I stole my breath from you.

Here I stand all alone in the world I created for myself,
I feel there is nothing I can say or do to let you know,
I am unsure at where to rest my next step,
all I want is for it to lead me to you.

If I must run for miles across the terrain so vast,
I will run all the way for you,
If I must die with this stinging pain in my heart,
at least my dying thought will be of you.






Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Whispers Of Strength

Simple solitude escapes me now,
a time when I can just be at peace,
not worrying about what all problems I have to face,
nor the people to whom I wish to please.

I stand in the face of a decision,
I am not afraid to make it,
for I stick to what I believe is right,
and I am not afraid to apologize if my logic is wrong.

I refuse to sit back with idle hands,
I will work until this task is complete,
not one person nor any army of their friends,
will tear me down-this wall is built strong.

I have to keep saying the little motto in my head,
smooth sailing does not make skillful sailors,
so I will know that I am suffering for a reason,
and it will only be a season-until this problem is gone.





Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

I Am Such A Girl

Many ice cream bowls and romance movies later,
I find the answer to the question in my mind,
is it wrong to hurt after seeing your crush with another,
my answer-absolutely not.

Though I be not attached to said crush,
it hurts when a wish is not granted,
all to easy for me to work through these said hurts,
I have known many before.

Being a woman means dealing with stupid and endless introspection,
why not me-why not anyone-why not now,
when will it be-who will it be,
and what is taking so long?

So here I go again on my own,
keeping a smiling face and my sad emotions seemingly long gone,
seems like twenty years it will be,
until I meet a decent guy that is interested in me.





Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Don't Let Go

Sands of time like dust in the wind,
time flies by when you are on my mind,
separation seems to never cease,
and love-I must-until my end.

You lift my life to higher ground,
when it seems depression has set abound,
you place the stars in my night,
and give your heart as my light.

Your voice is in my dreams,
calling to me it seems,
you are always in my thoughts,
and always in my heart.

Hold me now and do not let go,
I only feel safe in your hold,
do not ever let me go,
stay still and share your woe.





Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Where There Is Love

Where there is love,
there is your eyes looking into mine,
searching and finding my heart so true,
screaming out my love for you.

Where there is love,
there is your arms around me holding tight,
putting warmth into a cold day,
connecting two souls as one.

Where there is love,
there is your lips pressing against mine,
the powerful lock to stop time,
the connection of every nerve in our lives.

Where there is love,
there is you and me,
two who have never felt feelings like these before,
two who will never cease to be.





Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

All Under Lost And Alone

I love you with every breath I take,
for my air is the life you breathe in me,
when you are not in my presence,
my life is different and changed.

I feel as if a part of me is missing,
like my heart has been ripped out,
although- I know it has,
because it's searching to be where you are.

The day seems darker without you,
as if sunshine has been replaced with rock,
this rock lays upon my shoulders,
making it harder to pass my time.

Your love is a wonderful feeling,
that without-even for a second-is too long,
without my tiger's eyes to look into,
I am all under lost and alone.





Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.
(2/1/05 at 8:15am)

Tell Me Now

It is going to be what it has to be,
the only change is for a baby,
I know what is inside,
your crazy heart is lying to your eyes.

Tell me now,
would it had been easier,
not to sit around and tease me,
I bury the love I once knew.

Angel's sparkling eyes,
the kiss of the sunset through the clouds,
the whispers of the wind,
oceans to floods take away.

Tell me now,
would it had been easier,
just to throw away the lies,
and just adjust to life?





Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved.

First Impressions

When your eyes first looked down at me,
I thought I would be joining the army,
that what a mistake I had made,
but those thoughts only lasted to go away.

Now I think just how cool,
you really are the nicest teacher,
the mistake I thought I made,
made me realize that I am totally amazed.

When you shared your passions with the class,
I smiled and sat tight,
I had not shared the same passion for quite some time,
but your sharing rekindled that light in my life.

Out of all the things I have learned from you,
I found that your inner heart has shown through,
that first impressions are not always as they seem,
thank you for teaching us to dream.





Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved.

Buried Alive

Life is not a field of daisies,
to those who try to make it roses,
these posers of fly traps,
let off their beauty while eating you alive.

I feel very lonely,
as if I am being buried alive,
I look up at the pine box I am in,
as I realize that dirt has silenced my cries.

Beaten without cause,
hands of many around my throat to stay,
gasping for my last breath of air,
as my last words catch wind and fly away.

Voices in my head,
of those teasers and the lies,
not even one person,
can understand this of my life.





Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved.

Signs Of Time

I feel as if I am confused,
as if I could be used,
as if I am weakening down,
but to my nature to never wear a frown.

You show me signs of acceptance,
and signs of reject as well,
I do not know whose side you are on,
or am I just confused?

I was told to not be discouraged,
for I am a child of God,
and He has His arms around me,
and His guard will never be let down.

Now I feel like a temporal distortion in time,
like grapes crushed for wine,
I wish you would just make up your mind,
so we could be together to the end of time.





Copyright 2003. All Rights Reserved.